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you overwhelm my senses

stop me from thinking so hard

9/6/11 12:14 am - starting_now

You wrapped your arms around me
hugging me as though I was
your daughter, your friend
How would I know soon I would
want to be your love?
Or perhaps it was too obvious?
Your warm eyes, your benevolent nature
enveloped me as though I was
a dusk yearning to be darkened
but I curled myself into a tiny ball
turning you away from me—
I knew it wasn't time.
You retreated back to your chemicals
as though they were your friends
when in fact they sunk you deep underground.
I deeply wanted to save you,
but felt it best to move on,
felt there was nothing I could do.
Then, you returned the one thing I left with you—
it greeted me on my porch
with a blinding light
made me realize how much I wanted you
but there was nothing I could do.
Still, I reached out to you
with tiny hands
but got nothing back.
It's time to forget
the nervous giggles,
staring into your eyes,
the empathy.
It's time to forget.
It's time for you to go back to your wife.
It's time for me to get on with my life.
But at times,
you stand in my dreams, lurking,
like a subtle wave on the shore,
and although I wish I could,
I can't dry the sand
that you made mark of
I can't pick up the grains
and let them slide through
you are simply a dream
that replays in my head
and I don't want
to let go of you.

7/28/09 02:38 am - raining_coffee - my life (a collaboration of lines)

Dear i thought I'd drop a line
Have you ever noticed that I'm not acting as I used to before

Remember those walls I built, they've tumbled down
You're the only thing that's making any sense to me
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I'll try to stop time forever
I never want to hear you say goodbye
I want you so much that I can't resist you
I can feel the poison set in
But all I can taste is this moment
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

Once I’ve had a taste of perfection
I guess second best is what I will know

You can take time to live the way you’ve got to live your life
Don't even think about what's right or wrong or wrong or right
Just please don't leave me
You saw all my pieces broken
I can cut you into pieces when my heart is broken.

Yet you say move on... where do I go?
If I could only tell you what's next
I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure

When I'm with him I'm thinking of you
I wish that I were looking into your eyes
I miss the sound of your voice
I ache to remember the perfect words that you said

Do you realize that you have the most
beautiful face?

I always say that I don't need you but it's always gonna come back to this
It's not enough to say that I miss you

I’m trying not to think about you but
I cannot go to the ocean
Or drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
We were always meant to say goodbye and
In a way I always felt you were leaving

Someone's gotta go
I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
I’d never want to see you unhappy
I just thought you’d want the same for me
You know that i love you so..I love you enough to let you go
You let me down but
There’s no use decieving
Neither of us wanted to be alone
I touched and I was burned
I want you to know that it doesn't matter

I gave myself away
I was looking for someone to hold
Then you let me down
You got yourself locked in instead
And I'm trying to forget, trying to move on
Here’s to all the pretty words we’ll never speak
Here’s to all the pretty girls you’re gonna meet
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you’re just fine

Nothing left to tell you dear, except each day seems like a year
p.s. I love you

7/7/09 12:40 pm - kova

i stand in line to buy tickets to transformers
and there are a lot of people around me
but my heart stays quiet and isolated
thankfully no one notices

because most people are quiet
and it's quiet most of the time

my heart is quiet
and most people stay quiet
so it's quiet most of the time

12/24/08 11:49 am - kova

hoping the engine failsCollapse )

6/18/08 06:51 pm - kova

i think we fell into heaven for about six minutes. i went first, and i was rocketing into the sky, and i was getting really sick. i'm tumbling away from where my life ended, and my head arches up to see my hometown becoming a distant array of bright lights, and i see her coming at me. i try to steady myself and reach my hand out, struggling to keep my head facing down, and she reaches for my hand, and we hold hands for a few seconds, then i pull her up and take her other hand, and as we tear through the clouds i pull her to me and we hold each other. the sky is getting cold. everything's out of view and we race higher.

i think we stayed that way

6/18/08 01:01 am - ta_co - sigh.

hello everyone.

gosh, am i ever lovesick.
perfectttt word for it. i never even realized it. sounds kind of like a medical condition. i wonder if my doctor can diagnose me and send me off with some wonderful pill to forget all of this.

i never dreamed i would fall in love with someone like him. he's the opposite of what i usually find "attractive." but boy oh boy did i fall hard.

the first time we met was ... amazing, to say the least. we met casually through a friend, got together again that night... and were utterly inseparable. love at first sight, it's the closest i've ever been to it.

buttt.. i moved away to be with family, as they were going through tough times and needed my support.

what's the saying... time apart makes the heart grow fonder? i believe time apart is making my heart go insane. my heart is cracking a little more just composing this...

6/9/08 09:22 am - ajnc88 - This Woman

This woman, her love is sand in my eyes,
When I close my eyes she is the only one I can see in my mind.
Funny how her sand does not leave a burning sensation,
In fact when she’s gone I feel a sense of isolation.
When will be the next time I will get to see her beautiful face,
Her body so tight it’s like she wrapped with a shoelace.
Lil mama know she got it n I’m glad she sharing,
Take a real man to hold her down, someone who know how to be caring.
Don’t even look when the fat ass girls walk by,
Tired of chasing the hoes, plus my girl fly.
She’s fly, flya den me, flya den you,
In my mind she is why the sky is blue.
Still M.O.B., never gonna lose sight of the green,
But my girl aint a bitch that’s why I treat her like a queen.
Spoil her like she my only child,
Niggas think they getting my dyme, yea these niggas are wild.
She on her grown woman now no more time for the games,
That’s why I came to her rescue to get her away from the lames.
This woman, it was well worth the wait, so glad that she finally mine,
Bout to go get her some new J’s right now so she can keep running thru my mind

4/21/08 08:24 pm - kova

boy... i'm a mess.

4/18/08 05:49 pm - kova

ramblingCollapse )

4/16/08 04:46 pm - kova

i'm numb.

my thoughts keep going in the wrong directions.

and i threw up from too much alcohol last night.

no, this wasn't supposed to happen.

maybe i'm just unlucky.
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